Motivation is a subjective thing. What motivates your best friend might leave you pulling the covers over your head and hitting the snooze button. What tends to be a common factor is that motivation isn’t usually a constant. It can arrive on a wave of energy you didn’t know you had, but it can leave with the same impetuosity.
If you’ve already embarked on your OYNB journey, you’ll already know that some days are better than others. Some days, the world is your friend. You feel well rested, robust and grateful that OYNB is in your life.
The Bad Day Blues
But it would be disingenuous to say that there aren’t bad days. Some of them, you can see coming a mile off. The big summer wedding, your friend’s 40th birthday BBQ, your team landing that massive deal you’ve been chasing for a year… you know that booze is going to be flowing, the mood will be high, and your resolve is going to be tested.
Not all challenging days are the ‘Big Ones’ though. Some of them creep up on you unannounced and tap you on the shoulder when you least expect it. With OYNB, you need to be prepared for both, in order to keep on keeping on.
That’s where motivation is key. Now before we go further with this thought, remember that you’re already succeeding on the motivation front – you’ve started your OYNB journey. You’re already winning, but it’s important to have a few tricks and tips at your disposal to thwart those pesky tricky days.
First, do a bit of honest self-examination and decide what keeps you going in the right direction. Get your personal OYNB goals firmly back between the crosshairs and try our tips for staying motivated and on track.
Find a OYNB Buddy. Having someone pulling in the same direction as you and going through the same highs and lows, is invaluable. At some point, both of you will have ‘one of those days.’ When you do, you need someone in your corner who knows exactly how you’re feeling.
Remember why you started OYNB? Be brutal about this; was it the way you felt? The way you looked? Your work or relationships being negatively impacted by alcohol? Think of how brilliantly you’ve done so far and the progress you’ve made. You’ve got this, you really have.
Revisit and reassess your original goals. Have they shifted at all? Did you cut out alcohol because someone else wanted you to? That’s admirable, but it’s not selfish to make your goals about you. You’re much more likely to stick with them!
Don’t dismiss the idea of rewards! A treat to give yourself a pat on the back is a perfectly acceptable means of stirring up some fresh motivation. That jacket you’ve been coveting for ages? A beautiful house plant or a box of your favourite chocolates? A weekend away dedicated to doing something you love? Celebrate your achievements along the way and power on through to the next horizon.
The Goldilocks Rule
Much has been written about The Goldilocks Rule when it comes to motivation. In brief, this popular philosophy uses the bowls-of-porridge notion to purport that motivation is at its most powerful and irresistible when we’re tested just enough. That means not so little that we lose interest and not so much that we feel overwhelmed.
In other words, the perfect human state for feeling motivated is when we feel faced with a challenge but capable of rising to meet it. It’s the kind of empowering, logical thinking that can change a bad day into one that you can handle, no problemo.
The Goldilocks Rule also makes for a pretty good OYNB mantra for those days when going alcohol-free seems like an uphill struggle. If you’re having a day when motivation is thin on the ground, or if you’re worried about attending a big event where alcohol will be flowing, try channelling the Goldilocks Rule.
Take a deep, calming breath and tell yourself loud and clear: ‘I am challenged but I am capable of rising to meet my challenge.’
An entrepreneur and former senior oil broker, Ruari gave up drinking after excessive consumption almost cost him his marriage, and worse, his life. Going alcohol-free improved his relationships, career and energy levels, leading to him founding OYNB to provide a support network for others.
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