Today's blog is written by Brian and Carrie, who are the superstars of Brian and Carrie Live. Tune in live everyday to Eliminate your Limits!
“Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate”
That quote from Carl Jung is a game-changer.
And a life-changer if you just pause to give it some reflection.
Whether you know us personally or ‘know’ us through Facebook, you wouldn’t have recognised the people we were had we been friends 10 years ago.
We were angry. Frustrated. Jealous. Jaded. But mostly, so terribly sad. Sad because we had tried absolutely everything you were supposed to try. We followed the goal setting experts, Listened to the success gurus, and did the work that the ‘hustle’ authorities claim is required.
None of it worked for us.
Our days were spent in this frenzy of commotion. Charting our goals, reading every book we could get our hands on and working our collective asses off to make it all come together.
In contrast, our nights were spent in a pit of grief.
In disbelief that we would ever achieve our goals and absolutely exhausted from another 24 hour cycle of trying to make it happen.
We started believing that we were broken.
That while our friends and colleagues were crushing it and on the cusp of even greater heights, we were bound for mediocrity.
Destined to be inferior.
That somehow, we lacked the smarts, the ability or the savvy to achieve what we wanted.
That was our fate.
Until we started making our unconscious conscious.
The game-changer and life-changer for us had nothing to do with setting more goals, reading more books or hustling harder.
It had to do with learning to understand what Mindset is, how it works and how ours was keeping us stuck.
Success – so we came to realise – wasn’t about working to become successful, so much as releasing yourself from the reasons you’re not.
We both had a “story” in our unconscious.
And without realising it, that “story” played on repeat. All day. Every day.
It was the cause and source of something both you and we know very well –
We knew what to do and in most cases, even how to do it.
But there was something preventing us from actually getting it done.
We live in such a testosterone-heavy culture that is forever telling us to just ‘kick the door down’, ‘get after it’, ‘be relentless’ and ‘kill it’.
That shit never worked for us. And I’ll bet that it doesn’t work for you sustainably, either.
The “gentle way” is way too often confused for being less effective or somehow a “wussification” type of path – maybe because it lacks for the dramatics of most motivational messages we get bombarded with over and over again.
But it is the only way that creates lasting change and sustainability.
You have an internal dialogue.
An unconscious “story” that is speaking to you at every moment of every day.
95% of the time, you pay no attention to it whatsoever.
But it controls your life.
It’s what makes the path simple or hard.
What makes the venture successful or not.
What makes you happy and fulfilled or miserable and unsatisfied.
Until you make that “story” conscious and realise that you have the power to change it whenever you want to, it will direct your life.
And you will call it fate.
If you’ve wanted to make more money, grow a successful business or finally make real the dream you’ve been carrying in your heart…
… But can’t.
No matter what you do or how hard you try.
We’d ask you to give this a serious read.
Because there are VERY FEW people in the world who WON’T resonate with what we wrote above.
Truth is, it’s not nearly as difficult, challenging or “mystic” as the woo-woo people always make it seem and sound.
We’re talking about a pretty basic process that is both simple to implement and allows for every-expanding growth.
Which leads us to the first point you absolutely MUST follow –
SIMPLICITY + CONSISTENCY = SUCCESS
Every single time.
Do simple things.
Do them consistently every day.
The result is both predictable and ironclad.
So with that, here is the 3-Step-Process for creating a success-driven mindset, making your unconscious conscious and STOPPING the skid that virtually EVERYONE finds themselves in –
In short, the 3-Steps (to be done daily) are simply –
1. Dictate Journal
2. Set Objectives
3. Count Your Wins
But before we profile those for you, we’d be REALLY ignorant by NOT saying this first –
Maybe you don’t need to set goals.
Maybe a vision board is the exact opposite of what you need.
Maybe the positive affirmations you say work against you.
And maybe meditation shouldn’t be on your daily menu of to do activities for now.
25 years of practical Mindset work has shown us two things –
(1) There’s isn’t “A” way… There’s “YOUR” way.
(2) The very best Mindset practices are the ones that meet you where you are.
#2 in particular is something way too many “experts” and “authorities” on the subject miss.
If you’re not assessing, you’re guessing.
If you don’t diagnose, the prescription could be both flawed and dangerous.
No one doubts those two statements when it comes to physical fitness.
Even business consulting.
Before we decide on a “solution”, we have to understand the “problem”.
Those represent the 4 classifications we’ve taken years to understand.
People in the “Explicit” model tend to be very sad and live in various degrees of despair.
“Inspirit” types react to life events and often seem to be on emotional rollercoaster of high’s and low’s.
“Ambassadors” accept the journey of life, are highly aware and continually evolving.
The “Mentor” classification represents people who are eager to grow, but can often become impatient when they don’t grow at the rate they expect to.
4 different types of people, completely.
With 4 different needs.
Goals are great.
Vision boards can be very powerful.
Positive affirmations, effective.
And meditation, undeniably important.
But that doesn’t mean they will all prove positive for everyone.
Ever spent time creating goals, but then end up NOT pursuing them within just a few days or weeks?
Ever take hours to build a vision board only to realize that you’ve started looking at it with CONTEMPT or ANGER?
Ever find yourself feeling HOPELESS or in DISBELIEF after repeating positive affirmations?
Ever give up on meditation because it causes you more STRAIN and FRUSTRATION than it does anything else?
There is no “one-size-fits-all” for…
… Or anything else.
Which is why we work under the pretense of ONE-SIZE-FITS-ONE.
TRULY tapping into your potential and undoing those unconscious stories that keep you swimming in the seas of overthinking, procrastination and self-doubt is always going to be about creating the solution that you need directly.
BUT… This 3-Step-Process has incredible universal application that we can tell you will do wonders if you follow the equation (Simplicity + Consistency).
Here it is –
- Dictate Journal
Twice daily (once in the morning and once in the evening) spend 5 minutes journaling your thoughts and emotions.
Don’t be grateful.
Don’t write down your goals.
Don’t spin anything to a more positive slant.
Don’t lie to yourself.
Just record or ‘Dictate’ what you hear and feel.
That inner voice you have is a bitch.
In fact, we’ll tell you that the way you talk to yourself is more harsh, abusive and angry than you’d EVER allow anyone else to speak to you.
That’s your “story”.
The unconscious patterns you have that keep you in the cycle of self-doubt, overthinking, self-sabotage and procrastination.
You CANNOT OUT GOAL SET AN UNSUCCESSFUL MINDSET.
Start allowing the “story” to come to the service.
You lessen its grip over your habits and behaviors when you do.
- Set Objectives
Forget “goals” for a second (and trust us that we could spend A LOT of time explaining to you the pitfalls of being an obsessive “goal setter”).
Rather than creating a mass list of things you want to accomplish or achieve over the next 12-months, how about just noting the things you intend to accomplish TODAY.
It is a chronically amazing phenomenon for us to see how many people have spent time working on the “long-range” plan, but NOT the path for getting there.
Because of the nonsense that floats around the motivational industry (and has for DECADES) we’re all exposed to the “genie-style” game-plan of building the perfect vision of where we want to be over the next 1 – 10 years.
Some people have that down perfectly and can recite their ideal life at the drop of a hat.
… On a day-in, day-out basis, they don’t actually do the work required to get themselves there (enter overthinking, self-doubt, self-sabotage and procrastination).
Every single day, make a short list of the 3 – 5 high-impact objectives you want to accomplish today… That’s it.
Which bleeds into the last of our 3-Step-Process…
- Count Your Wins
You count your scars most nights.
Without realising it.
You complain about the things you didn’t do (or do right).
Moan about the unfair challenges you had to face.
And fret about tomorrow (usually, based on the losses or scars you’re reliving from the current day).
Honestly, it doesn’t even matter how ostensibly positive you are or how much you BELIEVE yourself to be a “really happy person”.
The human brain is what it is and whether you know it or like it, your brain (like everyone else’s on the planet) dwells on negative things.
Far from a “mood enhancer” though, the action of “Counting Wins” isn’t just a means to staying positive… It’s a terribly critical part of realigning your brain's natural rhythm.
Deliberately and intentionally, write or mentally enumerate the good things you achieved today. Starting specifically with that list of objectives you wrote for yourself in the morning.
By simply keeping a running count of the small progresses you make, you begin to shift the synapse connections in your brain and DIRECTLY influence your unconscious story for the better.
Unless or until you make your unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.
The 3-Step-Process listed above is something we’ve worked with in the lives and careers of entrepreneurs from around the globe.
And it works. Period.
In more ways than you may realise, we hope this has given you some light and a whole lot of direction.
Brian & Carrie.
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An entrepreneur and former senior oil broker, Ruari gave up drinking after excessive consumption almost cost him his marriage, and worse, his life. Going alcohol-free improved his relationships, career and energy levels, leading to him founding OYNB to provide a support network for others.